The Diary of A Failed Youth Pastor

Yes, the title is clickbait. Sort of…

No, this is not a sob story.

Close your eyes and travel with me back to another era of history. One that seems so far removed from us, yet in reality it’s not all that long ago. How far back are we talking? The year 2017. October 2017 to be exact. At the time of this writing, it was almost four years ago. I know, it seems like forever ago.

To me, it feels like it was yesterday. My wife and I arrived in Panama City, FL on a Tuesday, and Wednesday morning we hit the ground running. That night was set to be our first service as a brand new youth pastor, a time to meet the teens and their parents and see where this thing was going to go.

I remember it well. No parents came, only one boys oldest brother and his wife. There were about 8 teens. No one really participated in the game and there was too much pizza left over. I shared my heart for what I believed God wanted to do in our youth group. I was so excited for the prospect of the future!

Fast forward to today. The last time we had youth group was more than a year ago. We went from 8–10 teens down to 1 over the course of three years (Allen, if you are reading this, thank you for being the real MVP). We tried just about everything to get teens involved, excited, and inviting their friends and nothing seemed to take. I have come to acknowledge that some of it is due to me not putting in enough effort, and some of it is due to circumstances beyond my control (ie-Hurricane Michael, parents decisions, etc).

Have I been discouraged at times? Yes. There were moments when I got so bummed out I wanted to quit. I don’t know how often my internal conversations went something along the lines of, “Wow, Josh. You made a commitment to these people that you’d do something with the youth group and the best you can do is shrink it? Are you joking? Could you have failed any harder?” Yes, the last several years have been difficult and definitely not what I had expected, but they have also been more than I had expected.

About the same time things started to trend downward in the youth group, someone needed to lead our children’s ministry. We made some schedule adjustments and next thing I knew, I was leading our Wednesday night kid’s ministry. I was nervous and afraid. Not of the kids or of leading the group, but of failing again. What if the kids end up leaving just like the teens did? What if I start leading this ministry and it goes exactly like the youth group? Is this my last chance?

That was back in May of 2019. Fast forward to today. Wednesday night kids ministry has run anywhere from 8 all the way up to 25 on the best night. Several kids have been saved, not directly during the kids ministry program, but I like to believe because of the seeds that our kids ministry team has planted on Wednesday nights. I understand that kids have much less of an option in coming to church, but please spare me the lecture. I’m just happy to see kids coming, learning about Jesus and His Gospel, and being loved on by our amazing team of helpers!

Through all of this I have learned, rather, I have been reminded of something I very quickly forget. This ministry is not my own. I am not responsible to grow it. I am responsible to be faithful.

Yes, it’s cliche, but it’s probably the most overlooked reality in the ministry world today. Why? Because you can’t manufacture faithfulness. It doesn’t come in a bottle, you can’t read a book and instantly get it, and no conference can guarantee it’ll be one of your character traits by the end of a seminar. Plus, no one really wants to read a book that makes them feel like a dirtbag. If I’m going to read your book about church growth, you best be telling me what formula I have to follow that is going to guarantee results. Don’t bother telling me that the key to seeing growth that makes a difference is being faithful in the ministry. That doesn’t make me feel like a champion right now. I can’t measure that, at least not in the immediate future.

We erroneously believe that we are responsible to take the ministry God has given us and multiply it of our own accord. We would never say this, but it’s obvious in our actions. Long hours in the office, neglect of spiritual disciplines, program-heavy calendars, and publicly discouraging those that don’t jump on the train. It’s as if we think that our decisions to have certain programs, speak certain ways, and work extra long hours is THE surefire way to get God’s blessing on our ministry and see numbers increase in leaps and bounds. If and when the ministry doesn’t skyrocket, we begin to question the legitimacy of our calling.

Instead, we must resolve to be faithful to what and where God has called us. Paul indicates that those God entrusts with ministry are required to be faithful (1 Corinthians 4:2). Jesus seems to make this case as well. When Jesus told the parable about the servants who received talents (Matthew 25; Luke 19) the ones that received a blessing from their master did so, not because of the returns on their investment, but because of their faithfulness to do something with what they had been given. The servant that chose to do nothing with it was condemned for his inaction. Not because his masters money didn’t earn interest, but because he didn’t make any attempts to see it earn interest. He wasn’t faithful with what the master had entrusted to him, so he lost.

It is quite clear to me now that God has used these difficult times to teach me that faithfulness, although rarely measurable, is one of the most important character traits of a ministry leader that lasts. Being faithful with the talents that I have been entrusted by God is my responsibility and I probably won’t know what the return on investment will be until I give account to my Master one day.

Do I have it all together? Not at all. Am I the prime example of ministry faithfulness? Nope. Are there days I sit in my office and, rather than rejoicing that God is blessing kids ministry, I sit in discouragement that there still aren’t any teens coming to church? Yes. Do I believe God will do something about all of this? You bet. He’s good like that.

You might find yourself in a similar situation. Remember that you are laboring in God’s ministry, the one He said He would build. Give it your absolute best and be faithful. Hang in there when it gets tough. Don’t quit. One day you’ll give an account to your Master, and He will reward your faithfulness with those comforting words, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”